my mouth tastes like poor choices
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
