the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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