lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I didn't notice because vodka
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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