RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
