who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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