He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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