Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
