Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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