i jhust puked up my retainher.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
