i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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