Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he thought i was a dude.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
