at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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