Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
