Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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