Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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