Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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