Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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