That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
