Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
