marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
