VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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