he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
