we're blogging at a bar
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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