the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
