Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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