Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
