is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
