yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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