Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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