Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
