He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
