It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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