He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
it glows. i had to have it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
