the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
