i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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