Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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