Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
