Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
