i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
