but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
