when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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