Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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