he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
