Soap is not a condiment
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
