I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
