Can i not drive my cunt home
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
