theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
