so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
