Sry I called you an 8
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
