dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
