i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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