chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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