I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
