dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
