I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
