No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
