You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
