i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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