today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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