And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
