Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
