East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We have started to decorate penises.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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