I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
