How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just found puke in my bra..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize