The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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