i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
